‘How Green found his Family …and other Colourful Stories’

by Michael A Vanderosen

Story 1: How Green found his Family 

One bright summer’s day Green was walking near a beautiful lake. Despite the warm yellow sunshine, a soft summer breeze full of birdsong and the sparkling blue waters of the lake, Green was feeling sad.

He didn’t know where he’d come from… or why he was just plain green. Green saw himself as boring and ordinary. Not special like Bold Red, Bright Orange or Proud Purple. He wanted to know why he wasn’t a more exciting colour.

Green sat down on a rock and looked out over the lake miserably wondering why he was just boring old green.

His head bowed with doubts about his identity and unsure of his place in the world, Green stared forlornly into the lake. A large, wobbly wet tear ran down his soft green face and he could feel a sob rising in his throat.

But just as Green was about to burst into tears completely he was stopped by a wondrous sight: All of a sudden the sun came out from behind a cloud and shone its sun-shiny, shimmering yellow rays down into, and across, the still blue waters of the lake.

Suddenly as he looked down into the lake, Green could see the reflections of the tall trees, their lovely leaves, the swaying green rushes, the blossomy, over-hanging bushes and the beautiful, bobbing heads of the water-lilies.

‘How Green found his Family …and other Colourful Stories‘ © Michael A Vanderosen, Molkom Sweden 2011

“A man’s errors are his portals of discovery” 

 ~ James Joyce

I was brought up in a dysfunctional, cosmopolitan, upper middle class family as a highly strung dyslexic surrounded by eccentric relatives.  However the result of having to cope with dyslexia and a logic disfunction had an unexpected but ultimately life-saving side-effect… as I grew older (but not at that stage wiser) I discovered I had the proverbial ‘gift of the gab’ and so naturally became a raconteur to communicate when and where logic or argument failed me!

Having been dissuaded from becoming an actor by my father, I found a métier as an international ‘front-man’ – where telling stories to sell ideas or influence clients came naturally… if some what flamboyantly… with lashings of space-invading charisma and oodles of false-Ego!

A headlong cavalcade of uber-hectic jobs, over-work, travel,  spare time activities (I’ll spare you those details!) and on-the-spur-of-the-moment decisions propelled me from consumer and luxury brand advertising, hyperbolic copywriting, press & public relations, economic development to a multi-market coordinator, international art advisor, art event promoter, entrepreneur and strategic consultancy; and from thence I walked backwards into healing and personal development!

However concentration on work, play, travel, and an obsessive out-of-hours rôle as a professional ‘rake’ and non-professional actor/producer, resulted in a seriously unsustainable roller-coaster life. Not surprisingly around the mid ’80′s my business, out of-hours and personal life collided spectacularly …piling up painfully at a ‘Mid-Life Crossroads’.

My subsequent decision to radically review my attitudes and change my behaviour and past patterns has been an eventful and surprising journey.  Lessons learned along the way were frequently challenging, usually discomforting, often hilarious and ultimately life-changing and fulfilling.

Following much personal journeying and soul-searching along the paths of self-enquiry, self-development and spiritual learning and soul growth, I decided this year – not before time – to finally focus on my own innate talents as well as the skills I’d acquired as a journey-man wordsmith, communicator and speaker, social host, healer-therapist, coach and mentor.

Now, in my capacity as an experienced host and professional Toastmaster/Master of Ceremonies and after-dinner speaker, I’m having fun offering an original, very personalised and elegant ‘hosting’ service to help people celebrate and enjoy the most special days, events and moments in their lives with a uniquely English ‘Touch of Elegance, my personal brand of flamboyancy, charisma and the dash of British humour that Europeans love!

To broaden my experience as a writer, speaker and storyteller I dived into deeper rivers of reference and oceans of audience via the world/wide/web! …and am currently researching and writing stories… and together with a great chum, fellow seeker and liver of life-to-the-full, projecting our vocal chords into the arena of Audio-books and YouTube with a series of ‘tall tales’ and humorous reminisces from two gloriously colourful and folly-full lifetimes of making every mistake in the book (and quite a few we made up ourselves!!).

And, if my Muse, quill, ink, Asprin and focus hold out: research and write a historical novel and film script …so nothing too ambitious then!!

Finally this year having suffered, and with the grace of the angels, recovered fully from a near-fatal heart attack, I’m more than ever aware (and grateful too) that I owe much of the little wisdoms I’ve acquired along the way to many friends, as well as strangers, in my life.  Especially those who took the time (and a lot of that was needed as I was an excruciatingly slow learner!!) to help me finally learn something useful from my mistakes and Life’s unending twists, turns and somersaults!   As a life coach and mentor now myself, I endeavour to help people whose paths cross mine, to find their own way to self-healing and self-worth – so they too may discover peace of mind and a fulfilling balance in their life… as I’ve been blessed in doing.

“Experience is the name everyone  gives to their mistakes” 

~ Oscar Wilde

March 1st 2011

BANISHING BURN-OUT – It’s up to you!

Mr ToastMaster, fellow ToastMasters & honoured guests…

Below decks in a Roman galley the slave master addresses the slaves chained to their oars: ”Slaves, the good news is that at the next port there will be food and grog for everyone…..The bad news is that this afternoon the captain wants to go water skiing

I’ve some Good news and Bad news… The Bad news is there’s a sickness spreading across Sweden …not the traditional stomach flu’ “Vinter kräksjuka”… but a different type of sickness.. and it’s getting worse…... it’s now an epidemic… and it’s draining the country’s economy, its energy… its motivation…and it’s costing one hell of a lot not just in terms of money but wasted human potential! I call it The Syndrome of the Sick-Note Swedes…I’ve been privileged to live here now for two years… this is a beautiful country in all respects…However since I’ve been here I’ve noticed more people suffering from ‘Burn-Out’ – or more precisely ‘stress-related illness’….than anywhere I’ve lived and worked before…So as part of a business project I did more research… the results shook me … the picture that emerged did not correspond to the image I had in my head of Sweden as a healthy, progressive, productive nation!

…here a just a couple of the many facts that shocked me …and they should shock you too..Sweden has one of the highest levels of absenteeism in the 1st world. “…Long term absenteeism due to sickness has been increasing in Sweden during the past two decades raising many questions about causes, financing and policy measures…”(*Article in The European Journal of Health Economics – School of Business, Economics and Law at Göteborg University)…

From the mid-1990s, there’s been an increase in the segment of the population reporting a decline in psychological well-being i.e. a growing tendency to feel anxious, worried and depressed – the first time such a negative result has been recorded since the surveys started in 1975…

During a 10-year period (1995–2005) the increase of people on long term absence was close to 100%

and on a bizarre twist… Swedes are healthier than almost any other people in the world… but they’re also off sick… more often than any other people!! ‘Burn-Out’ has now become a common-place idiom – a phrase the government desperately wants to see disappear from the language…Current methods and ‘stress management’ programs are treating symptoms rather than dealing with cause…

If un-addressed, the situation could result in long-term decline of the national interest! OK – That’s the bad news, So is there any the good news..?

…To find a successful cure and avoid economic and social decline of the patient …health and education authorities must invest in raising the ‘collective immune system’ to help people back to health and back to work.

For instance:…If the government invested in enlightened personal development, progressive life coaching and preventive-health programs at an early age in schools and all walks of life ….then slowly but surely the cycle of wasted human potential and economic and social decline could be reversed.

However… I have a fear… there seems to be an Attitude of Complacency… like an opaque sheet of glass it obscures the real picture… and hides uncomfortable truths that the national psyche doesn’t want to see!

The prevailing Attitude seems to be: ‘We lead the world in….Social Democracy, Education, Public service, Peace Love and Understanding… and our economy is a helluva sight better than yours!’

My friends… I believe it’s time to shatter the illusion that ‘God is in his heaven’ and ‘all is well in the State of Sweden’ …It’s time to start asking some tough questions… such as:

What are our politicians, business and community leaders doing to remedy this costly and debilitating Syndrome that affects this great country?

When will they grasp this thorny issue in both hands and develop holistic programs that help people to help themselves to become psychologically fitter… healthier…more fulfilled and motivated at home and at work?

These are the questions I now urge you to immediately start asking your politicians, business and public sector leaders… and the media… start writing emails, letters, tweets, make phone calls …do not acceptfuzzy or evasive answers..and don’t stop questioning until you see signs of positive movement and change!

So what’s the Good News..? The good news is : You are the good news… Sweden has a reputation as a nation of sensitive and cooperative citizens… people who have always stood up for ‘right action’ By getting together and taking united public action now you can change the the future… I invite you now to make your collective Voice heard..

This is not about Jantelagen or Consumerism or Immigration or right or left wing politics… It’s about the health and well-being of this and future generations. It is time to stand up for your future, to stand tall for this beautiful country and its fine people… but first you must stand up for yourselves!

Divided you can achieve nothing…United you will make the difference between ‘no action’ and ‘right action’ …Be the Good News…. and turn the Bad News pages of the past into the Good News headlines of the future… Fellow ToastMasters, guests, citizens & residents of this beautiful country

…It’s Time to Banish Burn-Out…

As Gandhi once said… “Be the change you wish to see in the world”……I would add… If not You… then Who? … and if not now…When?

Mr ToastMaster… Thank you

PS There are many more stats available to support my premise but the speech time allowed was only 7 mins!!

PPS I’d be happy to delve further into this with any national or local politicians, business/public sector or union leaders… and investigative journalists!

…The London Pavilion where I saw the Beatles ‘Help’ with Groucho Marx‘s lovely daughter in the early ’60′s!)

with the support of my step-mother – a one time actress who’d been to the Webber Douglas Academy of Dramatic Art one of the top drama schools –  I decided I would train to be an actor…

Laurence Olivier starred in and directed the movie Hamlet (click to watch Olivier deliver the most famous speech in Shakespeare…’To be or not to be…”… what every aspiring young actor wanted to perform on stage at the Old Vic in London …me included!!)

(image courtesy http://www.flickr.com/photos)

Richard Burton plays King Arthur and Julie Andrews plays Queen Guinevere in the Broadway hit musical Camelot, New York City. (Image courtesy of and by © Bettmann/CORBIS)

My father’s response was swift and characteristic… ” I don’t think so, son..!” he growled… (he was in fact being protective of his skinny, not-so-confident off-spring – but that’s not how I saw it for a very long time!) “You’re not Laurence Olivier or Richard Burton! …and there are 16,000 out of work actors in this country… it’s a tough world… and you’re neither pretty enough, nor tough enough to make it… don’t worry I’ll find you something else!”

So without discussion or argument I followed his direction and was apprenticed into the family textile business.  I did spend three fun years   studying and working in France, Holland and Germany and by the time I was 21 I spoke four languages fluently… but I’d missed the chance to make a first crucial psychological and strategic step for myself.

LESSON NOT LEARNED:  I did not question the main Alpha Male in my life – my father – and I didn’t stand up for something I really wanted to do.  I did not prepare a good enough case for wanting to go to Drama School and train to be an actor… whether I would’ve been successful in that was not the issue… lack of  conviction and passion, insufficient preparation – and not finding the courage to stand my ground and argue my case was the real issue!

CONSEQUENCE: This issue – which quickly became habitual –  my lack of self-belief and self confidence – particularly when relating to male authority figures, remained in my psyche for a very long time!  Instead of finding my authentic ‘voice’  and confidence earlier in my career, I compromised and failed to follow my heart.  Instead I became a career opportunist – an effective ‘seller’ of things and concepts, an able coordinator, an excellent diplomatist, a persuasive communicator and somewhat of a ‘pleaser’…but not alas… a fulfilled creator of my own destiny!

Thus, having been prevented by my father from becoming an actor, I did the next best thing and making a rather timid entrance as a novice in the role of ‘junior exec’ in one of the most fashionable professions in town: I found myself  in the wild and wily world of London’s top advertising agencies... there to take the next step in losing my innocence!

*PS…. My Title:  “Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee …an actor’s life for me!” is the title and chorus of the song sung by the villainous ‘Honest John’ and his side-kick Gideon to persuade the innocent Pinocchio to follow them to become an actor – what then happens is…. well, you’ll have to watch the movie to find out..! …but in the meantime here’s a clip of the song – Enjoy!

To be continued…

photo © 1969 The National Archives UK | more info (via: Wylio)

The grey post-war, food rationed era that followed the hard won victory of WWII – still vivid in memory – exploded in a burst of Carnaby colour and Yeh Yeh sound in the faces of two generations of war heroes, survivors and stiff upper-lipped Britons.

A bright, brash, optimistic younger generation stormed the battlements of an out-moded class-ridden system.  In the vanguard, the new classless cavalry charged through the portals of the established order.  Their standard bearers were the more modish themes of Youth, Music, Fashion, Mobility, Hedonism and Anti-Establishmentarianism.

Their heroes and icons bore exciting, classless names like The Beatles (photo by ova day) The Rolling Stones, The Who,  The Kinks,

(The Kinks by ova day)

Michael Caine, Terence Stamp,

(photo by like the city)      (photo by pictosh)

Carnaby Street, Mini Skirts, King’s Road, Mini Cooper, Mary Quant, Queen magazine and Radio Caroline!

Jean Shrimpton in her Mini Cooper (image courtesy http://www.gettyimages.co.uk/detail/92541045)

Twiggy (photo by Twiggy Model-flickr)

In my youthful impressionable eyes, the London I’d been born into seemed to turn overnight from a monotonous, monochrome B-movie set populated by clipped Oxford accents under short-back-and-sides haircuts – bowler-hatted, stiff collared, pin-stripe suited and furled umbrella-carrying City gents and boring middle-of the-road, white shirted, sensibly shod, grey clothed office workers into a dazzling Technicolour, wide-screen Main-feature starring a cast of long-haired, dandified, Paisley clad men and women swathed in riotous psychedelic colours and a hip all-out explosion of fashion styles that turned two fingers up to the white, button-down shirted and monochrome colours and morals of the 50′s.

(Photo courtesy flickr)

The truth was more complex than that… but that comes later.

I’d been born in the London Clinic during the Luftwaffe‘s last night raid.  And I was raised in a dysfunctional, upper middle class, cosmopolitan family. I grew up alarmingly fast into tall, skinny, highly strung, accident-prone dyslexic with very little sense of self-worth surrounded by eccentric relatives, an absent mother and an unsettlingly awe-inspiring father.

My young Weltanschauung (I did say cosmopolitan!) was coloured by a privileged upbringing complete with housekeepers, stables, horses, grooms and Continental holidays.  This was followed by a typically traditional, upper-crust education: Prep School followed by four years of semi-Victorian, somewhat sadistic purgatory in one of the country’s leading Public (actually private and dam’ expensive) Schools, from which I emerged with an inflated sense of my position in society, a mediocre education – just as skinny and still no sense of self-worth!

My privileged background notwithstanding, Life was about to blow a cold blast of reality up my hindquarters… within a year of leaving school I was have my first lesson in what happens when you don’t stand up for what you want in life.

To be continued…

The fact that historically Men have been afraid of the innate power of the feminine has always been compounded by the challenge presented by Women who were well or better educated and confident, which posed even more of a threat to the Male bastions of ‘Power and Control’!

Thank God the Feminist and other equality-based movements of the 60′s and 70′s did much to dispel this false archetype. The point I’m making with this ‘flip quip’ is that it is still true in many places and in the psyche of many Men…. except today one might substitute the words are ‘intimidated or confused by’ instead of ‘don’t like’… still an issue then??

And Yes, Jo-Anne, women are fortunate enough to have their brains in the right place… us poor chaps still have to struggle to contain/control the tendency of our BBB (Brains Below Belt) to kick in and over-ride our ‘little gray cells’ up top whenever we see a women whose aura and presence presses the perennial survivalist Procreation button!

Hopefully our all too slow march towards a higher and more contained consciousness and the equally slow movement towards true equality between Men and Women will eventually bring us to the dawning of a day when we males will naturally respect, admire, love and delight in females whose brains have always been the equal of – and frequently superior to – ours!

In the meantime some of us Men who love and respect Brainy Girls still struggle with both sets of our brains… hopefully though nowadays, somewhat more aware and sensitive to which ‘Brain’ is in the driving seat at a given moment!!

Thank you for commenting on this provocative quote!!
M:))

Any more viewpoints…?

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